I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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