It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
