You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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