i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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