i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
