chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
