last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
