haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
