So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
