I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
