my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
