sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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