so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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