no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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