Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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