Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
