You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
