But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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