ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
