I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
