so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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