She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
