I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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