Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Alive.
So much puke
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
