In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
