I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you will always have a special place in my vag
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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