Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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