..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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