I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
