He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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