thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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