Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My life is pants optional.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
