i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize