I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
