I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
God, I missed his penis.
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