I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
