I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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