You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
