I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
