Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
