we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
