You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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