The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
