If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
