We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
your like the ambassador to my penis.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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