I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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