need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
