Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
