you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
