Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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