Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
